


Embers in the Snow

by ambercreek95



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Best Friends, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak in Love, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Craig Tucker, POV Tweek Tweak, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambercreek95/pseuds/ambercreek95
Summary: For someone who is known for always being in control of his emotions, Craig is having trouble stopping the green-eyed monster from gnawing at his insides. Craig can feel his stomach drop through his feet and a hard lump form in his throat making it almost impossible to swallow.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 86
Kudos: 168





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my first ever fic! I've been wanting to write one for a long time and so I'm glad I finally got around to it!
> 
> A huge thank you to Tweekscoffebean who was so encouraging and supportive and also beta'd this chapter for me. You were a huge motivation for me to finally start this story so i can't thank you enough!

For someone who is known for always being in control of his emotions, Craig is having trouble stopping the green-eyed monster from gnawing at his insides. Craig can feel his stomach drop through his feet and a hard lump form in his throat making it almost impossible to swallow.  
  
You see, it isn’t the fact that Kenny is hugging Tweek that bothers him, but rather it’s the WAY Kenny is hugging Tweek.  
  
He doesn’t hug in the usual lack lustre tangle of limbs like most people, but rather he hugs with his whole body. His arms are wrapped tightly around Tweek’s slim waist, pulling the smaller man flush against his chest, lifting him slightly off the ground and burying his face in his blonde locks all while sporting a shit-eating grin  
  
It makes Craig feel sick in a way he hasn’t felt ever before. With that feeling, Craig knows that he is royally and utterly fucked.   
  
Tweek and Craig have been friends since they were 10 years old and during that time they’ve hugged their fair share of people, even kissed a couple, but never normally in front of each other. Craig is only just realising how much he liked it that way. The mix of unwanted emotions stirring inside him makes Craig feel like he’s going to throw up right there on the lunch room table.  
  
Tweek breaks away from the hug with a grin, settling back down on his feet, holding Kenny by the shoulders at arm’s length. “I’m so proud of you Ken! Craig, did you hear what Kenny just said?” he exclaims turning his head towards the noirette.  
  
Tweek’s sudden attention on him snaps Craig back from his thoughts. His eyes narrow at the fact that, as they have both turned their attention towards him, Kenny has wrapped his toned arm around Tweek’s shoulders and pulled the smaller man flush against his side, leaning his head sideways on top of the messy blonde curls adorning his friends head.  
  
“No.” Craig’s reply is clipped, unable to pass more than the single syllable past the lump in his throat.  
  
Tweek sees right through Craig as his eyes narrow and his expression changes to one of confusion. He was always much better at reading him than most, despite Craig having a perpetual poker face. His head tilts slightly to the side in inquisition, making him look like an adorable, albeit a little bit angry, golden retriever.   
  
“Uhhh... well,” before Tweek can start his interrogation, Kenny interjects, wanting to distract from the tense atmosphere between them, “I just got a new job! And it’s a good one. Its nights so the pay is good and I can keep studying and working at the coffee shop while also supporting Karen.” Kenny’s crooked smile was so wide, Craig was worried it would split his face in half.  
  
The enthusiasm in Kenny’s voice dissolves the lump in Craig’s throat enough that he regains control of his voice. “That’s great Kenny, congrats” Craig replied in his usual monotone  
  
“Thanks man! Anyway, I better get going. I have to go fill out my employment forms and pick up my uniform.” He unwraps his arm from around Tweek’s shoulders and angles his body his way. “I’ll see you at the shop later, right?” Tweek offers a smile and a small curt nod as confirmation “Sweet, I’ll see you then Tweekers. Later Craig!” Kenny turns on his heal and strides off but not before ruffling Tweek’s curly mop of hair affectionately.  
  
The second Kenny is out of ear shot, Tweek rounds on Craig shooting him a sharp questioning look. “Okay, spill. What the hell was that about?”  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
“I’m talking about how you look like I just took a shit in your Cheerios” Tweek snapped back at him, moving his hands to his hips, eyebrows pinching together into a scowl.  
  
At the age of 18, Tweek was a far cry from the jittery, anxious mess of a kid that could barely get a sentence out without twitching and screeching. Tweek was now much more confident, voice unwavering as he stared Craig down. He was like a firecracker when he got mad, his verbal assaults often lightning fast and devastating to their recipient.

  
He still had his moments though. When Tweek got particularly tired, anxious or stressed, the twitches and verbal outbursts would trickle back in, muscle memory taking over. When it happened, his jaw would clench painfully as if, through sheer determination, Tweek would be able to stop them from happening and exposing him to the outside world. When Craig saw him in such a way, he would rest his hand gently on his friends shoulder or grab his hand in a silent show of support. On occasion, that would be enough for the tics to slow and his jaw to slowly relax. In those moments when he saw the impact he had on the blonde, Craig’s chest would swell with pride.  
  
Craig snapped his attention back to the present when Tweek made an irritated noise in the back of his throat, apparently less than impressed at Craig spacing out on him mid-interrogation.  
  
“What?” Craig asked dumbly.  
  
Tweek groaned before stalking over, sinking down onto the bench besides Craig.  
  
“Look…” the blonde looks over at his friend with a slightly sad but probing expression, leaving Craig puzzled. “I think I know what’s going on here.” How can Tweek possibly know what’s going on? He has been so careful these last few months? “If I’m right, then I think you like Kenny and you felt jealous when we hugged”  
  
Craig’s face briefly fell into an expression of shock. That was not it at all, or at least... it wasn’t entirely correct.  
  
Craig’s silence seems to affirm Tweek’s assumption for him. His hands twist into the hem of his shirt anxiously, as he continues his rushed speech, “You have nothing to be jealous about though. You know that Kenny is just touchy-feely like that and he and I are just friends. Besides... I... uhhh, I k-kinda like someone else anyway.” A dusting of pink fell across his freckled cheeks, causing a warmth to spread through Craig’s chest at the sight.  
  
That is, until Tweek’s words registered in Craig’s mind, and he once again felt that sinking feeling in his gut.  
  
Tweek liked someone…? Like, an actual human being…? Who? Craig was desperate to know.  
  
“Who?” Craig asked.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Who do you like?” Craig tried to keep his tone even and not show how desperately he needed to know who captured the attention of the hazel eyed boy beside him.  
  
“Uhhh... well... you w-wouldn’t know th-them. They’re NGH n-not from around here”. Tweek turned his head away, staring out across the cafeteria to avoid Craig’s probing gaze. If he hadn’t of looked away though, he would have seen the crestfallen look on his friends face.  
  
“Hey guys! What’s going on?” Clyde greeted them enthusiastically. At that moment, Clyde and Token joined them at their table with their lunch trays. He smiled at Tweek and then at Craig, but his smile fell when he saw the expression on his normally stoic friends face. “Everything okay?”  
  
“I have to go” Craig stood abruptly  
  
“Where? Lunch only just started?” asked Clyde.  
  
“I’ll talk to you guys later.”

Offering no explanation for his sudden departure, the noirette rushes out of the cafeteria, hoping against all hope that creating distance will help ease the twisting discomfort he feels in his gut.  
  
Craig runs into the nearest bathroom and quickly checks under the doors for unwanted company. Once he’s sure the coast is clear, Craig rests his hands on the sink and tries to breathe deeply to calm the creeping feeling of panic.  
  
Tweek was wrong, Craig wasn’t jealous because he liked Kenny. He WAS jealous – he will give him that, but rather it was because, for the better half of the year, he had been quietly crushing on Tweek himself.  
  
His hopeless infatuation with his best friend started one day when the guys were doing their usual Friday night activity; hanging out a Token’s playing video games, eating pizza and spiking their drinks with liquor stolen from their respective homes. Craig stares into the mirror at his own reflection as the memory comes rushing back to him.

* * *

  
The clock had just ticked past 11pm. They were all buzzed and had just finished what was probably their 30th round of Mario Kart when Craig decided to step out into the cold night to have a cigarette. He was watching the ember glow a bright orange as he took his first drag, when he heard the door behind him slide open. A few moments later, golden curls and freckled cheeks flushed from the cold moved into his peripheral vision.  
  
“Don’t you know that smoking kills, Tucker?” Tweek asked, the impish grin that was surely gracing his heart-shaped face evident in the playful tone of his voice.  
  
“I do know actually, because you’ve been telling me for the past 2 years, which is coincidentally also about how long you’ve been stealing them from me.” Craig immediately opened up his packet, pulling out another cigarette and handing it to the smaller man at his side, turning to look at him properly for the first time since he had joined him on the patio.  
  


Craig tried not to stare at his best friend, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He was dumbstruck.

_Has Tweek always looked this… beautiful?_

“You know me too well.” Tweek placed the cigarette between his lips and leant into the lighter that that Craig had lit and cupped from the wind in his tanned hands. His heart felt like it was beating outside of his chest. He could see snowflakes settle on his blonde eyelashes, leaving Craig hypnotised. As Tweek exhaled a plume of purple-grey smoke, Craig tried shaking off the fluttery feeling that appeared in his stomach but the effort was fruitless.

“Of course I do. After 8 years, I’d have to be Clyde-level stupid not to know your habits by now” his mouth pulled into a lopsided smirk.  
  
“Hey, don’t be mean to Clyde! He may be stupid but at least he’s in touch with his emotional side, unlike you Mr. Robot!” Tweek laughed and punched his arm playfully. Little sparks like electric shocks erupted from where Tweek had touched him.  
  
Craig turned towards Tweek, about to ask him if he felt the sparks too, when the words died on his tongue. In the patio light, backdropped by snow flurries and the night sky, Craig felt like he was seeing Tweek properly for the first time.

His flaxen curls looked like woven gold and the freckles smattered across his face resembled constellations that Craig would like to spend his time mapping. His large hazel eyes were almost a pale green in the patio light and his lips were pink and swollen from the constant assault that his teeth inflicted on them.  
  


Craig has known he is gay nearly his whole life and he has found plenty of men conventionally attractive over the years, but never before has he ever seen anyone look quite as angelic as how Tweek looked that night. It makes him wonder, even now, if he was Clyde-level stupid to have not noticed him in that way earlier. He was absolutely stunning.

  
“Earth to Craig? Come in spaceman Craig?” Tweek’s eyebrows quirked curiously, probably trying to figure out why Craig had spaced out so suddenly.  
  
Craig turned away from Tweek, hoping that removing the blonde from his line of vision would help restore his equilibrium. For the first time since Craig had met him, he felt nervous in his presence. “Sorry, Mr. Robot was just rebooting.”  
  
A soft laugh escaped his friend’s lips, making Craig light up with the fact that he was responsible for such a beautiful sound, shortly followed by a comfortable silence. The two friends stood side-by-side, slowly inhaling and exhaling their cigarettes in the dark. When Craig threw his cigarette on the ground and crushed the ember beneath his boot, he felt soft curls against his neck and a warm weight suddenly on his shoulder. Craig simultaneously wanted to lean into the touch while also wanting to turn on his heel and run as far away from these confusing new feelings as he could get.

Tweek has been his friend for years, yet in the space of a second, as quick as a flash of lightning, Craig suddenly felt a whole lot more. This wasn’t simple attraction, this was a sudden, all-consuming, burning infatuation with someone who knew Craig better than he knew himself.

Tweek had been by his side through all of their shared childhood. They had played games of make believe together, including being the Wonder Tweek to his Super Craig, fully equipped with matching outfits and joint ultimate attacks. He had been around for Stripe #3 through to Stripe #6 (who was still alive today). He would always make him a hot chocolate, free of charge, when Craig would come to keep him company during slow shifts at his parents shop.

It was his Tweek who, despite his anxious tendencies, was always his rock in those rare moments that Craig couldn’t hold it together anymore, like the time he had quietly sat with him in the darkness of his room after his beloved Abuela had passed. A few days later, he had stood with Craig at the funeral, in the section reserved for family – Tweek had protested at the time but Craig’s mom had insisted, stating that he was practically a part of the family at this point. Craig suspected though that her true motivation was to make sure Tweek was nearby for when Craig needed him. She hadn’t been wrong and Craig was grateful for her intervention when, only a few minutes in, silent tears had started to fall down Craig’s face and Tweek reached across the space between them to interlock their pinky fingers with a small squeeze. The small act of comfort was a life raft in the expanse of his grief.

_Could this be called love? I have heard of love at first sight, but what about love at first cigarette with your best friend of 8 years on the back patio in mid-November snow fall?_

It was almost too insane of a thought to entertain. How could feelings like this lay dormant for so long, only to launch their assault in the quiet of the night, attacking so suddenly and with such ferocity.  
  
“I’m going to miss nights like this next year” Tweek sighed, his head resting comfortably on Craig’s shoulder.  
  
Craig tried to calm his traitorous racing heart. “We still have practically a whole year left.”  
  
Tweek lifted his head to move and stand in front of the noirette, “I know, but every year before now has gone by in a blink of an eye and this year will probably be the exact same, if not even faster with all the extra school work and exams, and before you know it, we will all be on opposite sides of the country, busy with college work and we won’t have any time to stay in contact” he paused to inhale, his breathing starting to become erratic “or catch up on breaks and you will all start to move on with your lives, meeting new people and I’ll probably be back in this stupid town working at my parents shop, and you will forget all about me and– “  
  
“Tweek” Craig interjected, placing his hands on the blonde’s shoulders “slow down, take a deep breath”  
  
Craig breathed deeply and slowly in demonstration, urging his friend to copy.  
  
When Tweek’s breath had returned to normal, Craig released his hold on Tweek’s shoulders, only to wrap his arms around his neck and pull the smaller man into a hug. Without thinking about it, he nuzzled his face into the soft blonde curls adorning his friends head. His senses were overcome with a sweet smell; coffee and coconut shampoo – it was so quintessentially Tweek and for the first time that he can recall, Craig was completely enraptured by it, body on fire from the feel of Tweek’s arms encircling tightly around his waist.  
  
“I could never forget you Tweek,” Craig whispered into his hair, “you’ve been my best friend since we were 10 and college isn’t going to change that.” Craig pulled him even tighter against his chest, relishing in how Tweek’s lithe muscles felt underneath his thin button up shirt.

“Promise?” Tweek asked meekly, pulling his head back from the taller man’s chest to look up at him with his large hazel eyes. 

Craig leaned forward, resting his forehead gently against Tweek’s. “Yes, always.” 

In the quiet that followed they stayed like that, staring into each other’s eyes. Tweek looked like a deer trapped in headlights for a long moment, before he took a shaky breath and his eyes slowly closed. The blonde somehow moved closer, so close that Craig could feel Tweek’s breathe stirring against his face. He stared down at his friend, eyes combing over every little detail, trying to commit the moment to memory. He was overcome by the sudden realisation of how easy it would be to close the space between them and capture those pink lips with his own.

Craig’s body went on autopilot. He closed his eyes and tilted his head, hands raised, ghosting their touch over those soft freckled cheeks, wanting more than anything to know how those lips would feel against his own.

_But what if he doesn’t feel the same? You will ruin everything. You will LOSE him._

The intrusive thought startled Craig and he pulled hastily away. 

“Uhh... um…” He stumbled over his words “I-I’m… aren’t you cold? We should probably head inside” he said looking away, scratching the back of his neck. Craig’s heart was racing so fast, he was sure that Tweek could hear it.

Tweek was silent for a moment, before he chuckled humourlessly. “Yeah, it’s fucking freezing out here man, let’s head inside.” Tweek turned and made his way to the door. Half way, he stopped, turning back to gaze at his friend. “You coming?”

His curls were glowing in the patio light, sparkling eyes locked onto his own. Craig couldn’t help but think that, in that moment, Tweek looked like an angel that had fallen to earth, and he realised all to suddenly how absolutely screwed he was. 

“Yeah, just give me a minute”

Tweek nodded once, before disappearing through the sliding door. As soon as he was out of site, Craig slumped against the patio railing, trying to catch his breath. Thoughts raced through his mind, going a mile a minute.

_All the alcohol has gone to my brain and is causing me to feel a bunch of things that aren’t real._

_I am not in love with Tweek Tweak._

_I’m going to go to bed, and when I wake up, I will be sober and these feelings will be gone_

Craig turned away from the falling snow and walked inside. He stalked past the guys, stating that he was tired, and that he was going to sleep.

As he laid down in bed, he told himself with a conviction that he didn’t feel that everything will be back to normal in the morning. Deep down, Craig knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

How could he possibly ever hope to forget how breathtaking Tweek looked in the moonlight with snowflakes on his lashes?

* * *

Craig cups water from the running faucet in his hands and splashes it across his heated face.

His feelings for Tweek did not disappear, but he already knew that they wouldn’t.

Ever since that night, Craig can’t help but fall further for his best friend. All the things that helped nurture their friendship over the years have turned into added reasons that fuelled his adoration. Craig could waste precious hours replaying moments spent together in his head, trying to figure out if Tweek felt the same.

_Well, I guess you got your answer now Tucker._

Craig’s insides twist painfully when he remembers what Tweek said.

_Its fine, your fine. It doesn’t matter anyway, it’s just a stupid crush. You’ll get over it_

He knows that it is a lie. You don’t just get over something like this and it isn’t a stupid crush, if the last few months’ were anything to go by.

The fact remained; Tweek Tweak likes someone, and they’re not from South Park… Maybe he met them at his therapy support groups in Denver? Or at his acting classes? Maybe this guy came into the coffee shop on his way through town and he caught the blonde’s eye? Or maybe Tweek met him online?

Craig hopes that whoever he is, he supports Tweek. That he holds his hand when the anxiety gets too much, and listens to him ramble about conspiracy theories or the best method for making cupcakes. He hopes that he makes him coffee the way he likes; strong and black. He hopes that he sees past the dark circles under his eyes to the sparkling hazel orbs that could never hide a single emotion that passed through his head. He hopes that this lucky son of a bitch realises that a guy like Tweek only comes by once in a lifetime and when you find someone like that, you hold onto them with everything you have.

_…I wish it was me._

A cold, wet hand drags down his forehead and settles to pinch the bridge of his nose. Although Craig tries to tell himself that he’s fine, he knows that he’s not, and that is made all the more real when he feels tears prick the back of his eyes. He takes deep, but shaky, breaths and blinks away the tears. 

Always better with his fists than his emotions, Craig’s devastation quickly turns to frustration. He whirls around and slams his closed fist into the ugly 70’s style bathroom tiles that line the walls, leaving a large spider web of cracks.

Craig stares down at his red and rapidly-swelling knuckles, wishing that the pain in his hand could outweigh the ache in chest. When the effort has been deemed futile, he lets out a single large sob, unable to hold back the unbridled sadness any longer. Craig turns to his reflection seeing a broken-looking young man with bruised knuckles, unshed tears in his eyes and a question posed on the tip of his tongue.

“What are you going to do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> A/N: I head-canon Craig as Peruvian so that's why i mentioned his Abuela :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you as always to Tweekcoffebean for proofing and editing this for me and for being so patient with me these last few week. I really appreciate everything you do.

Tweek steps out of the hug to hold Kenny at arm’s length, a genuine smile stretched over his face after hearing the positive news. He is happy for his friend. He doesn’t know anyone who works as hard as Kenny does, and for such a selfless reason. The guy deserves it.  
  
“I’m so proud of you Ken!” Tweek releases his hold on the taller blonde to turn his attention to the other boy sitting a metre away. “Craig, did you hear what Kenny just said?”  
  
One look at Craig’s face tells him that something is wrong.  
  
Anyone else would just see Craig looking his usual apathetic self but Tweek has spent the better half of his life deciphering the emotions behind that stoic demeanour. The slightly pinched expression on his best friend's face is enough to spark concern. Because Tweek is so good at reading Craig, he picks the emotion behind that expression straight away; jealousy.

Jealousy directed at Kenny and Tweek. At Tweek embracing Kenny. At Kenny with his arm wrapped around his shoulders.

  
_Does... does Craig like Kenny?_ Has Tweek unknowingly embraced the object of Craig's affections?  
  
The sudden realisation is like a stake through his heart, making Tweek want to heave up the 4 cups of coffee he has already had that day. Instead, Tweek fixes a Tucker-level poker face and tries not to show how much the realisation has affected him. Kenny and Craig are talking (or more so, Kenny is talking at Craig) but Tweek is unable to pay attention to the words. The whooshing in his ears drowns out any noise except Tweek’s own racing heart.  
  
Kenny turns towards him, breaking Tweek’s train of thought. “I’ll see you at the shop later, right?” He doesn’t trust himself to speak right now, so he offers a nod and a smile in response, hoping that Kenny won’t press his sudden non-verbal response (it was very unlike Tweek to be so quiet).  
  
“Sweet, I’ll see you then Tweekers. Later Craig!” Kenny ruffles his hair, which makes Tweek’s shoulders tense up slightly. After years of pulling his hair and damaging his scalp, he’s not comfortable with most people touching his hair. Except Craig that is. There is something oddly soothing to him about the rhythmic way Craig would hug him, pulling his head into his chest and playing with his hair. It is one of the few things that calms him down mid-panic attack, but Craig’s presence just seems to have that effect on Tweek.

Not at this moment though. Tweek has never felt as tense in Craig’s company as he does right now.

Tweek intended to try and bite his tongue and let it slide. He really did. But the subtle look of discomfort behind Craig’s stoic expression that Tweek was so well trained in reading was making his guts twist painfully. He has to know if his assumptions are right and he has to find out now. Any longer and the twisting in his stomach will grind his organs to a pulp and he will be left a useless sack of a human being, even more so than usual.

_Like a bandaid right? Rip it off now quick and fast and maybe it won’t hurt so badly?_ Tweek knew that it was a foolish hope that this would be anything but excruciating.

“Okay, spill. What the hell was that about?” Tweek snaps. He hadn’t meant for the words to come out that sharp, but the encroaching panic crawling up his spine and squeezing his lungs seems to have drained any tact or gracefulness that he could have hoped for.

Craig’s eyebrows draw together for a fraction of a second, a small crack in his stoic expression. “What are you talking about?”

He damn well knows what Tweek is talking about. Craig might be a man of few words but he’s not an idiot. “I’m talking about how you look like I just took a shit in your Cheerios.” Tweek knows that his anger is probably (almost definitely) misplaced and he is likely (almost definitely) being excessive in his interrogation, but the green eyed monster clawing at his insides refuses to retract its claws.

Craig’s eyes glaze over, staring somewhere into the middle distance, and Tweek knows that he had tuned him out and is now stuck in a daydream. Is it really so damn hard to hold the noirette’s attention for more than a 15 second time span? Is he really that incredibly bland that Craig can’t even try to feign some level of interest in what the blonde has to say to him? This just causes Tweek to get frustrated, an irritable noise sliding up his throat and drawing Craig’s attention back to him.

“What?” Craig looks at him dumbly, and Tweek feels some of the fire in his belly simmer down. A small inaudible sigh followed by a frustrated groan escapes Tweek’s lips. He moves toward the bench and sinks down besides Craig. He tells himself it’s so they don’t have to have such an awkward interaction in front of everyone. The real reason, that Tweek won't allow himself to think about, would be that he’s hoping some of the usual calm that Craig projects onto Tweek might rub off on him this time and make this conversation slightly easier to have. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have the desired effect.

“Look,” the blonde begins, nervously bouncing his knee, “I think I know what’s going on here.” He stops for a moment, looking at Craig, searching his face for some inkling that might tell him what Craig is thinking. All he sees when he looks is confusion. “If I’m right, then I think you like Kenny and you felt jealous when we hugged.”

Craig looks like a deer caught in headlights, but only for a second. He quickly recovers, face morphing back into a mask of indifference in the blink of an eye. Tweek waits a moment to see if Craig will say anything, but he is only met with silence which seems to fill the space between them, heavy and overbearing. The sudden reticence of his friend affirms Tweek’s suspicions and his thoughts begin to spiral.

His hands twist anxiously in the hem of his green knit sweater, knuckles turning white. Desperate for reprieve from the suffocating silence, Tweek’s word’s trip and stumble out of his mouth in a garbled rush. “You have nothing to be jealous about though. You know that Kenny is touchy-feely like that and he and I are just friends,” Tweek’s mouth operates on autopilot, “besides… I… uhhh, I k-kinda like some else anyway.”

Tweek slams his mouth shut, realising all at once that he has said too much. His eyes drop to his lap, unable to meet Craig’s bewildered, probing gaze.

_Why the fuck did I just say that?_ Tweek’s face grows steadily warmer, _for the love of god, please don’t let him ask who!_

“Who?”

_Fuck._

“What?” Tweek asks, buying himself a moment to think of an excuse, _ANY_ excuse. He hopes that Craig will drop the subject, but he knows that he won’t. Craig is nothing if not stubborn.

“Who do you like?” Craig pushes.

“Uhhh… well....” _THINK TWEEK! THINK!_ “You w-wouldn’t know th-them! They’re NGH n-not from around here.” Tweek would normally feel upset by his childhood stutter starting back up, but he’s just relieved that he thought of a somewhat believable excuse to palm off to Craig as gospel. Yes, it’s not the best excuse in the world, but it’s better than the alternative. What’s he supposed to say?

 _Oh, I wouldn’t say I like them... I mean, really it’s more like I’m hopelessly in love with them, and by them, I mean you Craig, obviously. But you like Kenny, so just forget about it and, hey, try not to let that little fact ruin our 9 year long friendship, okay?_  
  
He’s sure that if he keeps Craig’s gaze for a moment longer, the look in his eyes will betray his true emotions. The adoration for his tall stoic friend written clearly all over his face. Tweek drops his gaze to his lap once more, averting his eyes.

Suddenly, Clyde drops his lunch tray on the table with a loud clang, causing Tweek to nearly jump out of his skin. A wide boyish grin graces the chubby brunette’s face as he collapses ungracefully onto the bench seat. Token is with him and takes the space besides Clyde, albeit much more elegantly. “Hey guys! What’s going on?” Clyde greets them. His gaze flicks from Tweek to Craig’s, and suddenly, he looks concerned. “Everything okay?”

Craig stands abruptly, making Tweek jump again for the second time in a minute. His nerves are normally not this on edge, but the earlier adrenaline of nearly being caught in his crush has him feeling on edge. “I have to go,” says the noirette. His voice is strained and it makes Tweek worry. He tries to catch Craig’s eye (ironic considering as moment ago, he was avidly avoiding that warm chestnut gaze), but his face is turned away and Tweek’s efforts are fruitless.

“Where? Lunch only just started?”  
  


“I’ll talk to you guys later.”  
  
Tweek watches Craig’s rapidly retreating form disappear through the cafeteria doors. A sigh escapes his lips, and he slumps down, crossing his arms, forehead resting on the sticky surface of the cafeteria table top. The last 10 minutes have left the blonde exhausted. He is still reeling from the fact that Craig likes Kenny.

  
Clyde and Token look at the top of his blonde head, before exchanging a cautious look. It was obvious from Craig’s sudden departure and Tweek’s dejected posture that they just walked into something.  
  
Clyde clears his throat, “Hey Tweekers, what was that all about?”  
  
Tweek just huffs in response, wrapping his arms tightly around his head to try and fruitlessly ease the uncomfortable feelings crawling across his scalp. He doesn’t want to speak to Clyde and Token about it, because he isn’t even very sure himself what just happened. All he knows is that his insides are stirring like a whirlpool and he feels increasingly nauseous and pissed off for reasons that he sure-as-hell does not want to get into with the two boys across from him. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it. It’s been his burden to carry for 3 years now and, with this latest development, he’s not sure how he would even begin to start and unpack it.  
  
Clyde continues pressing despite the lack of coherent response, “Why did Craig run out of here in such a rush?”  
  
Tweek lifts his head at that and gives Clyde a deadpan look that would rival their absent friend’s. He _REALLY_ doesn’t want to get into it right now, but he knows the brunette won’t drop it unless he gives him something. “I don’t know Clyde, he’s probably gone to find Kenny or something.”

“Kenny? Why Kenny?” Token replies, puzzled expression gracing his handsome face.

“I don’t know guys, can we just drop it? If Craig wanted us to know, he would have told us.” Tweek starts to scratch methodically at the inside of his right wrist; a nervous habit that he thought he had dropped years ago.

“Oh yeah, trust the robot to tell us when something’s wrong?” Clyde’s voice drips with sarcasm, “great idea Tweek.” Tweek bristles, but Clyde is too remiss to notice. “Seriously dude, just tell us what happened.”  
  
He’s had enough. He doesn’t want to be interrogated by Clyde and Token about what’s wrong with Craig. He just wants to get out of there. Without another word, Tweek grabs his backpack by the strap and throws it almost violently over his shoulder, trudging out of the cafeteria and away from the probing gazes of his friends. He hears them call out his name, but he doesn't turn around. Every step slaps against the linoleum floors, making him feel more agitated with every stride.

Tweek gets to his locker and tries to twist the dial to his combination but his shaking hands won’t allow it. He didn’t want to get into it with the guys, but now that he is alone, there is nothing to distract his thoughts and Tweek quickly feels them start to spiral.

He has long accepted that Craig doesn’t feel the same way about him. He is fine with it, or at the very least, he has come to terms with it. But the thought of Craig and Kenny makes him want to slam his fist into the locker until his knuckles bleed and break. Tweek groans, forehead coming to rest on the cool metal. A rapid montage of conjured images starts to flash through his mind; Craig and Kenny embracing, Craig with his arm draped around Kenny’s shoulders, Craig and Kenny’s hands clasped between them, Craig and Kenny kissing!

Tweek knows he’s getting ahead of himself (he doesn’t even know if Kenny likes Craig back yet for fucks sake) but regardless of his logical brain telling him to stay calm, he feels panic start creeping in as his chest tightens and his vision swims. When his breath suddenly gets shallower and more rapid, Tweek realises that he needs fresh air and he needs it now!

  
He moves towards the school’s exit in a half-walk-half-run, fighting but failing against the panic clawing at his throat and lungs. Exploding out into the courtyard, Tweek takes big gasping lungful’s of air, feeling like a drowning man who just broke the water’s surface.

_Get your shit under control Tweek!_ His mind yells at himself, y _ou’re not dying so stop acting like you are! This is ridiculous! Don’t be such a fucking wimp!_ Tweek distantly wishes that Craig was here. He was always better at calming him down than Tweek even was.

Tweek drops his bag and presses his back against the brick wall, grounding himself, squeezing his eyes shut and focusing on getting air into his burning lungs. He recalls a technique taught to him by his therapist, Jane, called combat breathing. When Tweek first learnt about it, he thought she was pulling a prank on him. Why on earth would he, a teenager with plain old anxiety and a panic disorder, need to use the same method as Navy SEALs and military personnel for dealing with being shot at and other life threatening stressful situations? The whole concept seemed ridiculous to him. It wasn’t until his first panic attack after that session that, although Tweek felt like an impending math test wasn’t worthy of the technique, he could admit that it was extremely effective.

_In for four. Hold for four. Out for four. Hold for four. In for four. Hold for four. Out for four. Hold for four._

Tweek keeps breathing until the vice coiled tightly around his throat loosens and his panic attack subsides. He always feels shameful at the loss of control after a panic attack, even though he knows that line of thinking is illogical and detrimental to his recovery. He can’t help it though; his mind is his own worst enemy. Craig would always reprimand him when he would apologise after a panic attack, assuring him that he had nothing to apologise for.

He sighs at the reminder of his best friend. Tweek’s not sure what he is supposed to do now. He never really thought about what would happen the day that Craig liked someone else. It just didn't cross his mind before now. He had accepted that Craig would never return his affection, but he never stopped to think about the fact that his affection may be directed at someone else, and that Tweek may be forced to watch. He never thought about the fact that he might have to go on pretending that his own feelings were completely platonic while watching someone else get to experience all the things with Craig that he has fantasized about for years.

Tweek suddenly feels physically and emotionally exhausted. The worst part of a panic attack is not usually the panic itself, but the crash afterwards when his bones feel like lead and just the act of walking feels like the hardest job in the world. The ache in his chest from his hapless heart isn’t helping either.

He bends down slowly, pulling up his heaving backpack and securing it across his back. Tweek can’t bear the thought of going back to class, so he heads towards the direction of the library. At least there, he can go hide in a quiet corner and wait for this day to be over. It’s also the best place in the school to hide from Craig. He doesn’t want to have to avoid his best friend, but he doesn’t have the energy to pretend that everything is fine.

For Tweek, if Craig and Kenny end up together, then he’s going to be supportive, because that’s what a best friend does. All Tweek wants is for Craig to be happy, even if it comes at the expense of his own wasted heart. It’s just going to take Tweek a moment or two to pull himself together. He’s used to putting on a façade to hide his many tics and anxious tendencies, but this will be the first time he has to disguise a bruised and battered heart.

_But you’re fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine. You will get through this and soon it won’t hurt as much and then you will be fine._

Now, maybe if Tweek says it a thousand more times, he will start to actually believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I'm sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter out! life just got a bit hectic for a minute there but I'm back on schedule :) 
> 
> Thank you again for all your kudos and comments as well. They are always so lovely and when I feel myself losing motivation or getting discouraged, I read them and it keeps me going.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Tweekcoffebean, BitterHaze and Larty for their help with this chapter and helping me overcome my writer's block!

The bell above the door at Tweek Bros on any other day would bring a sense of normality and comfort to his day but Tweek has already decided that today is completely fucked. All the bell does is signal the beginning of his, for lack of a better word, sentence to work through the next 5 hours without wanting to scream or disassociate.   
  
Tweek moves around the counter and stalks past his dad who ignores his arrival in favour of restocking the bean grinder. In the back room, he throws his backpack into the designated staff cubbies (even though having them seems redundant as the only people who work at Tweek Bro’s are the Tweak’s and Kenny) and grabs his branded apron and name tag. He walks back out to the front of house, jerkily trying to tie his apron at his back, before getting frustrated and leaving it in a bundled knot.

This whole day has left a sour taste in Tweek’s mouth. He feels unreasonably angry. Angry at the injustice of it all. He knows that his anger is not logical, but he can’t help but feel his skin prickle and his jaw clench. He’s already decided that today is a bad day and he pities anyone who tries to test his patience right now.

Tweek moves towards the espresso machine on the front counter, hoping that a cup of the rich caffeinated drink will help with that sour taste he just can’t seem to get rid of. He grinds the coffee beans into the portafilter, banging it aggressively on the counter with more force than necessary.

“Woah son, careful with the machinery.” Richard's smooth voice floats over to him, making Tweek bristle, “If you damage anything, I’m going to have to take it out of your paycheck.”

Tweek refuses to turn around, knowing that the look on his face will only prompt his dad to antagonize him some more. “Okay Dad” Tweek says with a monotone that would rival Craig’s, “but your threat would probably be more intimidating if you actually paid me” he bites back, unable to stop the snarky comment from escaping his lips.

“Well Tweek, may I remind you that we pay you with a roof over your head, food on your plate and all of the smooth, rich, dark-roast coffee that your heart could desire. What more could you want? You know…” Tweek tunes him out, grateful that his dad can’t see his face when his eyes roll so far back in his head, he’s sure he catches a glimpse of his brain.

That entry bell rings again, announcing another arrival in the shop. Tweek glances up, feeling thankful for a customer to act as a distraction from his dad's long winded speech, only for his sour mood to curdle further. 

“Tweekers! You beat me here!” Kenny’s gaze shifts from the blonde scowling behind the espresso machine to the curly-haired brunette man smiling serenely at him. His grin falters but only for a moment. “Mr Tweak, how’s it going?”

“Kenny, good to see you, son. How did your interview go? Hopefully smooth like the rich, warm nectar of-” 

“Yeah, it went great Mr Tweak.” he says, cutting off the metaphor that Richard was about to launch into. “Thanks for being my character reference.”

Richard doesn’t say anything in reply, instead looking at the space just to the left of Kenny’s head with a serene smile that makes the boys’ skin crawl. After a moment too long to be normal, Richard says “have a good shift boys” before abruptly walking around the counter and out the door, apron and all.

Kenny and Tweek just look at the slowly closing glass door, bell still ringing in their ears. Tweek is used to his dad’s bizarre behaviour by now, but in moments like these, especially when there’s company, he really is perplexed at just how bat-shit-fucking-crazy he can be.

“Ya know Tweek, I’m real grateful for this job and all, but your dad’s cheese has officially slipped off the cracker.”

Tweek starts snickering, turning towards the dirty blonde when he sees that stupidly handsome face and remembers why his day has been such a dumpster fire.

Tweek’s face falls into a scowl as he turns back towards the espresso machine, finishing up his tall black coffee. Kenny is babbling on about something or other, while Tweek steadfastly ignores his presence. Logically, Tweek knows that it isn’t Kenny’s fault that Craig likes him and that he actually has no right to be mad at him, but illogically, the anger brewing in his chest makes him want to throw his piping hot coffee cup at the wall and kick the taller boy in the shin.

Unfortunately for Tweek, years of therapy have made him incredibly self aware and he knows that the anger he feels is only just covering up the more painful stuff that Tweek is scared to feel. If he poked at the softer parts of his heart, the more tender and sore parts, Tweek will open up the floodgates and he will be forced to acknowledge how utterly unworthy of love he feels...

The intrusive thought starts to take hold. Tweek squeezes his eyes shut, swallowing the lump in his throat, willing for it to go away.

“Hey Tweek, everything alright?” Kenny says, voice laced with concern.

Tweek opens his eyes and looks at his friend, seeing the kindness in those shockingly blue eyes. Kenny is a really nice guy. He’s also extremely funny, handsome and exudes a boyish charm that makes him easy to be around. He doesn’t twitch, or screech, or get so paranoid he can’t sleep. Tweek can see why Craig would like Kenny. Hell, there had been a time when Tweek thought he could like Kenny in that way, after that one ti-

“Dude?” Tweek is jolted out of his thoughts, as he realises that he’s been staring at Kenny’s face this whole time and now Kenny is looking at him like he is genuinely worried for Tweek’s mental state. Tweek opens his mouth, ready to make up some excuse when his mind comes up blank. He’s scrambling for something, anything, to say but to no avail. 

Thankfully, Tweek is saved by the bell, literally, when a group of teenage girls enter the coffee shop, giggling loudly. When they are standing at the counter ready to order and Kenny is forced to finally tear those prying eyes away from the smaller blonder, Tweek exhales a breath he was holding. Tweek turns back towards the espresso machine, getting it ready to make the incoming order. He eavesdrops on the conversation being had at the cash register hoping to catch what their order is so that he can start preparing them, but it’s impossible to catch the words above the flirty giggles of the girls as Kenny leans across the register, flashing one of his knee-melting, pulse-racing, 1000kw smiles that makes people of any gender lose their mind. Tweek rolls his eyes as he turns on the bean grinder, taking a guess and hoping that the girls will actually order a coffee in a coffee shop. He was never very good at reading teenage girls though.

After the girls are served, a steady stream of customers starts to flow through the cafe, giving Tweek an excuse to avoid the conversation that Kenny desperately wants to have, if the concerned and prying glances he keeps sending Tweek’s way are anything to judge by. The rest of the afternoon passes by as it usually does; Kenny works the register and prepares the food from the front cabinet, while Tweek makes the coffees. Tweek has tried to train Kenny in making the coffee multiple times, but he can never seem to quite get it right. Neither of them mind the way that things are regardless. They’re both happy to have their own station with their own processes and work together in that sense. Tweek doesn’t like speaking to the customers as much and Kenny doesn’t want to make the coffee so it works for them.

When the clock hits 7pm, there’s finally a break in the customers and the shop is practically empty. Tweek starts to clean parts of the espresso machine to keep himself busy. As he does on every shift they share, Kenny pulls a blueberry muffin out of the cabinet and takes a huge bite, chewing in a way that reminds Tweek of a horse eating an apple. Despite the disgusting display, Tweek does what he always does and moves to the cash register, pulling a $5 bill out of the tip jar and ringing up the muffin before depositing the note into the till. Despite the fact that he’s not Kenny’s biggest fan right now, he will never deny him a meal. Nearly all of the money that Kenny makes at his multiple jobs goes to things for Karen and feeding his family, leaving little-to-nothing for the blonde himself. Tweek always had a soft spot for the scruffy gap-toothed boy and he couldn’t help but want to take care of him. Kenny would never accept charity, so Tweek always finds roundabout ways to help out. 

For example, Kenny would never let Tweek pay for his food, but if the money came out of the tip jar? Acceptable. Or when Kenny accidentally left his gloves on the bus coming back from night shift, Tweek just so happened to have been “given” a new pair, giving Kenny his old ones as hand me downs. When Kenny’s old orange parka finally fell to tatters in the 10th grade (after being worn for far too many years by someone who had gotten far too big to wear a children’s jacket), someone just so happened to have left a nearly identical jacket, almost brand new, in Kenny’s size in the cafes lost and found. Kenny could hardly believe it. Tweek is 90 percent sure that he still doesn’t. 

There were other ways as well. Leftover pastries from the shop? Tweek would force them into his hands. Tweek’s neglected sandwich at lunch? Tweek’s not hungry thanks to all the coffee and he was just going to chuck it in the bin anyway. Kenny in need of some extra cash for Karen? Tweek needs him to cover his usual shifts, as he’s now got some sudden plans. Tweek never really minded that last one anyway because it wasn’t like he got paid for working and he would normally spend his acquired time spread out on Craigs bed after school with stripe on his chest, either watched a movie or listening to the raven haired boy yell insults at some “asshole” through his HyperX headset.

He’s pretty sure Kenny knew what he was doing, but he never said anything. That was one of the great things about their friendship. They were both happy to just let things be the way that they are, with no pressure to address the hard stuff. Being friends with Kenny was easy.

That is, except for when the love of Tweek’s life so far is crushing on the sandy blonde standing in front of him. Things start to feel a little bit less easy when the elephant in the room is sitting on Tweek’s chest and making it hard to breathe.

“So…” Kenny looks at Tweek out the corner of his eye, speaking with a full mouth and making muffin crumbs spray out of his mouth and onto the counter top, “are you going to tell me what's happened between lunch and now that has you seeing red?”

Kenny turns towards Tweek and locks eyes with him with a probing expression. He knows that eye contact is the easiest way to get Tweek to disclose what's on his mind.

Tweek takes a long sip of his coffee and stares at a scuff mark on the floor, trying to gather his thoughts. A part of him desperately wants to tell Kenny, even just for the relief of someone else knowing this huge secret he’s been carrying around for the last 4 years.

“it’s… um…” Tweek sighs defeatedly “it’s about Craig.”

Kenny’s eyebrows quirks upwards. “Okay… What about the stoic asshole?”

Those aqua blues stare straight through Tweek, making him feel like his brain is being cracked open and pried apart. He might as well tell him the truth. The problem is, he doesn’t even know where to start. 

He decides to say just that. “I don’t even know where to start?”

“How about at the beginning?” 

And so Tweek tells Kenny about how he and Craig have been friends since they were in Pre-K, and declared each other best friends since they were 9. He tells Kenny about realising he was gay in year 7 when he watched Titanic for the first time, and was far more interested in being locked in a steamy car with Leonardo Dicaprio than he was with Kate Winslet. He tells Kenny about how Craig was the first person he came out to a few months later on his 13th birthday, and how Craig grabbed his hand and told him that he was still Tweek, his best friend, and who he wanted to make out with didn’t change that. He told Kenny about how he returned the favour 2 years later...

Tweek holds the memory so dearly and respects Craig so much that he would never share it with another, including Kenny. Kenny can know that it happened, but he doesn’t need to know how or why.

After a perfectly average date with a girl in their grade, Craig barreled into Tweek’s room in a panic, crying and hyperventilating. Tweek had never seen Craig in such a state and it terrified him, but after years of his own panic attacks, he instinctively knew what to do. It was a long 40 minutes of him holding the raven haired boy tightly against his chest while he sobbed and mumbled incomprehensibly before he finally calmed down enough to speak, only to ask if he could stay the night. Tweek, as always, said yes.

It was hours later in the dead of the night, as they laid side by side on Tweek’s single bed, both wide awake but pretending to be asleep for the others’ sake, that Craig had whispered across the space between them “I think I’m the same as you”. 

“What?” Tweek was befuddled by the sudden remark.

“Like… you know…” Craig sighs, long and shakily, “in  _ that _ way…”

It took Tweek a long few seconds before he connected the dots and was able to respond. 

“Gay?”

The moonlight shining on Craigs face showed the silent tears running down his cheeks while he nodded. Tweek tentatively reached across the few millimetres between them, intertwining his right pinky with Craigs left and whispering the same words back to Craig that he had said to the blonde 2 years earlier. Craig rolled over suddenly at that point and wrapped his arms tightly around Tweeks torso, burying his head in the blonde’s chest once again, body shaking with like a tin shed in a hurricane. In a voice far too small to be coming out of someone as normally unphased as Craig, he asked “but what about my dad?”

Tweeks heart stuttered. It’s common knowledge that Thomas and his brother’s aren’t the most open-minded and accepting individuals. Tweek can see why Craig would be scared of his dad’s reaction. At best, it could be a real bonding moment for father and son, but at worst… well, Tweek was scared to even think about it.

“Well…” Tweek whispered across the space, feeling like anything louder would burst the bubble of this moment between them, “whatever happens, you always have a place here. If your dad decides that he can’t accept the real you, well then, you can stay with me. Hell, you can even camp out on the floor of my room until college if you need to, I don't care.” Tweek chanced a look over at Craig, only to catch his best friend staring at him. The sudden unexpected eye contact made Tweek anxious, so he let out a nervous chuckle. After a moment, Tweek squeezed the pinky finger intertwined with his as he continued, “I am here for you dude…  _ always _ …”

The small, lopsided smile he received framed by tear stained cheeks was full of gratitude, and it filled Tweek with an odd affection.

Tweek doesn’t tell Kenny about that memory in all it’s detail, but he does say that when Craig trusted him enough to come out to him, it was the first time that Tweek remembers his heart swelling in the company of his best friend, and that it only has gotten worse since then. For him, falling in love with Craig hadn’t been some cataclysmic event, but something that happened as easily and naturally as breathing. So much so that he didn’t even realise it was happening until it was far too late. It snuck up on him so quietly, that he can’t tell you when he first realised how being around Craig made his heart pound and his cheeks strike with fire. 

Logically, it made sense to Tweek that he fell for Craig. He was his best friend who also happened to be gay and attractive. But just because it made sense to him, it didn’t mean jack shit for it working out or for him feeling the same or for it even being any less scary.

Kenny watched Tweek while he rambled for the better part of an hour with an expression that would rival a world championship poker player. He didn’t interrupt or interject, he listened attentively to every word that Tweek had to say. Once Tweek had finally run out of steam and fell silent, Kenny cleared his throat and asked “Okay, so what are you going to do about it?”

Tweek was at a loss for words for once. “What?”

Kenny sighs exasperatedly. “Well, Tweek, it sounds like your grand problem is that you’re in love with your gay best friend who is almost certainly in love with you also”

“What?! Pfft- n-no!” Tweek splutters, “absolutely not. He is _ NOT _ in love with me?!”

“Really?” Kenny rolls his eyes, “And how do you know?”

“He likes someone else,” Tweek says quietly.

“Rubbish. There is no way! Who do you even suggest has captured the attention of your beloved spaceman?” Kenny smirks at Tweek, reminding the smaller blonde of why Kenny’s presence enraged him so much earlier.

“For fucks sake Ken, It’s you!” Tweek snaps.

For the first time ever, Kenny looks lost for words. “What?”

Tweek doesn’t want to look at Kenny, feeling a bit bad for losing his temper, so he reverts to nervous habits, picking at a hangnail on his middle finger and making it bleed for the 3rd time that day.

“Okay Tweek…” Kenny starts, considering his next words carefully, “and how do you know this?” 

All Kenny receives is a shrug in response.

“Okay... Did he tell you that he likes me?” 

“... Not in as many words...”

“Okay, in what words then”

Tweek looks sheepish, still avoiding eye contact. “Um… no words…” Kenny groans, rolling his eyes. Tweek looks at him then, desperate to defend his reasoning “BUT! I can tell! We’ve been best f-friends for so long and you just know these things.” 

Kenny knows for a fact that there is no way in hell that Craig likes him, unless his idea of flirting is rolling his eyes, flipping him off and calling him an idiot. Regardless, he decides to entertain Tweek and his thought process. “Okay, so what gave you the impression that Craig likes me?”

“Well, earlier today when I hugged you, he looked extremely jealous, and then when I asked him if he liked you, he practically ran out of the cafeteria.” Tweek gives him a patronising look, as if to say  _ see?! _

Kenny looks at Tweek for a long moment with his hands pressed together like he’s praying to the gods that this hopeless gay in front of him will actually hear what he says next. “Firstly, even if Craig did like me, what makes you think that I would be into Mr. Tall, Dark and Abrasive? I prefer a smaller, blonder package.” Kenny punctuates his point with a flirtatious wink that Tweek ignores before continuing. “Secondly, do I need to remind you that I was hugging you also? So he could have very well been jealous of me for touching you that way, and while we’re on the topic, did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason he fled at lunch was because he didn’t want to talk to his crush,  _ YOU _ , about who he is crushing on,  _ ALSO YOU? _ ” 

“No, it didn’t  _ Kenneth,”  _ Kenny hated it when anyone used his full name “because i don’t believe in illusions. Craig has never once hinted that he could be even remotely attracted to me, let alone that he likes me.” A memory jumps out of Tweek, but he squashes it before he can fixate on it too much. 

Kenny spots a fleeting look come across Tweeks face, piquing his curiosity. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That look! You look like you just remembered something important!” Kenny said, pointing animatedly at Tweeks face.

The memory that Tweek was thinking about was from a night spent at Token’s a few months earlier where, for the first time, Tweek thought that Craig maybe felt the same way. But the moment was fleeting and since that night, Craig has treated Tweek the same way he always has; like a good friend. Tweek just chalked up whatever he thought he felt that night to the alcohol or the full moon playing tricks on him.

“It was nothing, honestly.” Tweek shrinks in on himself. He really didn't want to have to get into it with Kenny. Recalling that night and the crushing disappointment that followed when the sun came up and nothing changed wasn’t high on his list of things that he would like to do.

Kenny frowns, really wanting to know what was behind that look but he ultimately decides not to press him on it. “Tweek, tell me this then; why is it that you can’t believe that Craig could like you?”

Tweek stares at the top of his high-top white converse shoes, decorated with stars and planets that he and Craig had drawn on with sharpies the year prior. They had been stuck in detention, after they got into a fight with Cartman for calling them the f-word, and banned from speaking when they got bored and started doodling on Tweeks shoes. The memory makes Tweek smile and he finds the words tumbling out of his mouth. “Craig is the only person who’s never made me feel like a freak. He always lets me come over and pet Stripe when I'm feeling down or copy from his physics homework when my dad has made me work the night before. He’s so considerate and he’s always doing everything to help me, but that’s only because I’m so….” Tweek sighs, a frown gracing his pale face, “useless… I’m anxious and paranoid and disorganised and when I'm not any of those things, I'm so miserable that I completely want to shut down, and Craig is always taking care of me, which is exactly why he could never love me. Who could ever love a burden? OOF!” 

The air gets squeezed out of Tweeks chest when Kenny suddenly sweeps him up into a bone crushing hug. “Enough of that. That’s some bullshit anyway. You’re not a burden, Tweek” Kenny says.

“Kenny…” Tweek squawks, “you’re… crushing… me…”

Kenny releases Tweek, but doesn’t move out of his space just yet, placing his hands on his friends shoulders and stooping down to look into those hazel eyes. 

“Tweek, despite what everyone who’s ever shared my bed thinks, I ain’t no angel, and I am definitely not about to start playing cupid, but what I am going to do is help you to help Craig get his thick head out of his own ass so that he can stop being a pussy, man up and finally live out his dream of getting to mack on with his favourite blonde twink- OW!” Tweek punches Kenny hard in the arm.

“I’m not a fucking twink, Kenny!”

“Righto buddy, that’s exactly what a twink would s-OW! STOP PUNCHING ME”

“STOP CALLING ME A TWINK THEN!”

“Fine, you’re not a fucking twink then, Jesus Christ...” Kenny says, rubbing his arm where Tweek’s punches had hit him. He always forgets that the little fucker is an accomplished boxer, “my point still stands Tweeky, I'm going to help you charm the pants off of that stoic asshole.”

“Oh yeah?” Tweek says skeptically, “and how exactly do you plan to do that?”

“It won't be hard, he’s already infatuated with you.”

“He is not!”

“He is too! I bet he’s at that rich fuckers house right now, pining after you like a sad little puppy”

Tweek laughs, chest feeling considerably lighter after all that. He turns back towards the coffee machine to make himself another coffee. “Fat fucking chance Ken.”

“I think you’d be surprised Tweek. There’s a 50/50 chance that Tucker’s either whining like a little bitch or planning his next move, right now...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading!  
> I'm sorry about the big delay between chapters! Life has just been so busy and I writer's block was a real bitch haha.  
> I promise the wait wont be as long this time around.
> 
> If you liked this chapter, i'd love to know what you thought! and if you didn't, let me know what I could improve on. All of your feedback if so motivating and helpful for me, and I truly appreciate every comment I receive :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, long time no see. I'm sorry I've been MIA but that whole writer's block thing? 100% real and 100% a giant pain in the ass!  
> I'm not super happy with this chapter but I am desperate to just be done with it, so please enjoy this flaming garbage fire of a chapter.  
> I promise the next one will be better... maybe, I don't know. Probably not hahaha  
> no beta reader/edit for this one so apologies for any mistakes.

Yoshi in his green and white egg car veers off the side of the multicoloured space track. “FUCK!” Craig yells, throwing the PS4 controller at Clyde’s head. 

“HEY!” Clyde says indignantly, rubbing the tender spot on his skull, “don’t take it out on me just because you suck at Rainbow Road today.” Craig gives him a trademark middle finger and apathetic glare as his only response.

“Yeah Craig, what's going on dude?” Token asks, “normally you’re king at Mario Kart but even Clyde’s mopping the floor with you.”

“Hey! Why’s everyone picking on  _ me  _ today?” Clyde pouts, collapsing back on the plush carpet of Token’s dens and throwing his forearm over his eyes, shielding them from the brightness of the ceiling lights.

Craig says nothing, his only response being a rigid middle finger directed at them both this time. Arms crossing across his chest, he sinks further down into the plush cushions of the couch, scowl settling across his face. 

Token just sighs at the raven haired boy. “You’ve been in a mood since you stormed out of lunch earlier. I don’t even know why you came here if you’re just going to act like a grumpy asshole.”

Clyde sits up with gusto, suddenly interested in the topic. “Yeah, what happened? Did you have a fight with Tweek? He looked really upset after you left and then he ran out not long after you.”

The last part of Clyde’s statement piques his interest. Craig wants to ask if Tweek was okay but he doesn't want to let on that he cares more than he should for his 100% completely platonic best bro. Instead, he says in the most monotone voice he can muster, “I’m fine.” 

Clyde and Token both laugh long and loud at the boldfaced lie. Their chuckles make Craig more irritated.

“What?!” he snaps.

“Craig,” Clyde manages between giggles, “if dating Bebe has taught me anything, it’s that when a girl says ‘they’re fine’ it really means that they are most definitely NOT fine.” Token nods in agreement enthusiastically. 

“Fuck off dude, I said I’m fucking fine and I’m also not a fucking girl!”

“No, but you’re acting like a PMSing girl so excuse me for my mistake!” 

Craig launches himself at Clyde, easily maneuvering himself around the pudgy brunette to get him in a semi-loose choke hold. Clyde starts to choke dramatically, despite the fact that Craig is barely even squeezing his neck with his bicep.

“I YIELD! I YIELD!” Clyde garbles, struggling to force the words out past the forearm wrapped around his throat.

Craig lets go, but only to follow it up with a swift wack to the back of the brunette’s head. Clyde whines, clutching his head like he’s been king hit by Mohammad Ali. Craig rolls his eyes at the display. Clyde has always been dramatic. It’s a wonder that Clyd, drama-queen of the god-damned century, and Craig, with his cool indifference and stoic demeanor, have been best friends for nearly their entire lives. They are worlds apart in terms of their personalities. Maybe that's why. Opposites attract and all that bullshit. Who fucking knows, Craig’s never really questioned it until now.

Craig gets up and falls back onto the couch, slumping down into the cushion. He pulls out his phone, ignoring the looks that he’s receiving from his friends. He opens up instagram, clicking on the stories and mindlessly watching whatever bullshit his classmates are getting up to on this Friday afternoon. Clyde and Token sense that they’re not going to get any more conversation out of Craig, so they decide to ditch the Mario Kart and play some Mortal Kombat instead.

He’s tapping the screen, skipping through Bebe’s story consisting of heavily filtered selfies and motivational quotes reposted from feminist pages when it ends, and Kenny’s story plays. His thumb freezes when he recognises the mess of blonde curls captured in the screen of his iPhone.

Kenny’s first story is a video of Tweek wiping down the counter at Tweek Bros while Dolly Parton’s ‘9 to 5’ plays over the store's speakers. Kenny’s singing  _ workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin’  _ offkey while he zooms in and out on Tweek, the camera catching Tweeks profile as he chuckles at Kenny’s antics. Craig feels like a sappy idiot when his traitorous gay heart squeezes at the site of Tweek’s smile. It’s such a nice smile. The bastard didn’t even need braces, unlike Craig who had a mouth full of metal for 3 long years to get his pearly whites. The only thing that made it better was how Tweek would always suggest what colour elastic bands Craig should get at his next check up and then when Craig returned, always with what Tweek recommended, he would beam at Craig like he just gifted him a winning lottery ticket. 

The screen clicks over to Kenny’s next upload; a boomerang post of Tweek, tongue poking out the side of his mouth in concentration, eyes trained upwards to the tray that's spinning around on his head. Kenny’s used the instagram music feature so that ‘ _ you spin me right round baby, right round’ _ plays with the video. 

In the next story, ‘Teenage Dirtbag’ is blaring through the speaker. Kenny has the camera focused on Tweek who’s pouring beans into one of the display jars they keep behind the counter. Kenny’s singing along behind the camera;  _ her name is Noelle, I had a dream about her. She rings my bell. _ Kenny sings the call bell next to register in time with the song, the action making Tweek throw back his head and laugh.  _ I’ve got gym class in half an hour, oh how she rocks, those keds and tube socks. _ Kenny’s camera pans down Tweeks tall figure, zooming in on Tweek’s dirty white converse. The story ends just as you can start to make out the crudely drawn Saturn Craig had scribbled on the blonde’s shoe the year before.

The screen flicks over to the next story post. Kenny has set up the camera on the counter, recording hands free. A small text box in the bottom right corner says “two adorable left feet” with a purple love heart. Thankfully the coffee shop looks empty of customers behind Tweek, as the song playing loudly over the store speaker is even deafening through the filter of Craig’s iPhone. Craig instantly recognises the tune;  _ And we tumble to the ground and then you say.  _ Tweek has his back turned to the camera as Kenny sneaks up behind him. He grabs his hand and spins him around, sweeping him up to dance in a small circle in front of the camera.  _ I think we’re alone now, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around. _ Tweek hates dancing in front of other people, so it’s obvious to Craig straight away that he doesn’t realise he’s being recorded as he allows Kenny to twirl him under his arm. Mid-spin, Tweek trips on his own feet squawking loudly in shock. Luckily for Tweek, Kenny catches him around the waist, dipping him down like it was his intention all along to do that. Kenny sets Tweek upright before scooting back over to the camera, laughing loudly at Tweek’s clumsiness. A horrified look crosses Tweeks face as he notices the camera, the story ending a half-second later.

The next story is just a picture of Tweek with his arms crossed against his chest and scowling at Kenny (or more accurately, the camera). A text box in the bottom centre says “He's angry at me for recording his cute uncoordinated ass”. Craig feels a little nauseous at the choice of adjective. He 100% agrees with Kenny that Tweek is cute as fuck, but Craig feels a wave of misplaced possessiveness wash over him. Tweek isn’t his, he has to remind himself sadly. Despite knowing this, he still doesn’t like Kenny calling the blonde cute and he doesn’t think he will change his mind on that anytime soon.

The last story is recorded in selfie mode. ‘Kiss Me’ by Sixpence None the Richer plays. Craig is reminded of the one time Tweek made him watch She’s All That with him and then laughed at Craig when he got teary at the part where Zack confessed to Laney before sealing it all with a kiss. Underneath the layers of his carefully cultivated asshole persona, Craig was a big softie when it came to sappy movies and songs, which Tweek liked to take regular advantage of. “Look at that Toto,” Tweek would say teasingly, picking up Stripe and bringing the little guinea pig close to his face, human and rodent nose twitching alike, “the tinman does have a heart after all”. Craig would then throw a pillow at his cute, annoying head (careful to not hit Stripe), blushing darkly.

In the video playing from Craig’s iPhone, Kenny is holding up a “rose” he has crafted from a napkin to Tweek as a makeshift apology. Tweek takes the rose, fanning himself theatrically, before bringing it up to his nose and pretending to smell it. Kenny croons,  _ Ohhhh, kiss me, beneath the milky twilight. _ Craig’s breath hitches as he watches Kenny lean in to plant his lips against Tweek’s.

_ WHAT THE FU- _

At the last moment, Tweek’s palm shoots up, intercepting the would-be kiss. In the same fluid motion, he pushes Kenny’s head violently away from his own, squawking out a loud “fuck off Kenny!”. Kenny laughs impishly before the camera cuts off once more, and Kevin Stoley’s story flashes up, showing a finished lego replica of the Starship Enterprise.

Craig locks his phone and throws it violently to the other end of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest and staring intently at the TV where Clyde’s Johnny Cage is losing spectacularly to Token’s Scorpion. 

Craig feels like someone has laced up his ribs and pulled them tight. In a trait that he’s picked up from Tweek, his teeth start worrying at his bottom lip. His initial thoughts on seeing Kenny’s story was how radiant Tweek looked backlit by the sunlight streaming through the windows at Tweek Bros. The halo of light cast around his blonde curls only second to the dazzling smile gracing his soft face.

His second reaction is a feeling he’s unfortunately becoming very accustomed to. The smokey tendrils of jealous wrap around him. Kenny’s whole Instagram story was downright flirty. The song choices, the suggestive captions, the dancing, the attempted kiss! 

Is Kenny in to Tweek? Craig can’t be sure. Kenny is known to be a bit of a flirt. He’s confident, good looking and his boyish charm and lopsided smirk makes boys and girls alike swoon. He’s never had a serious relationship before, just a few short lived romances here and there.

But, also, Kenny and Tweek have always been close. They bonded in 6th grade over having fucked up parents, and then they furthered that bond in 9th grade when Kenny started working at Tweek Bros. Just like Craig, Kenny is Tweek’s best friend, but unlike Craig, Kenny probably wouldn't be too big of a pussy to try and take that leap from best friends to something more. He would be crazy not to. Tweek is the literal embodiment of sunshine. How could you not want someone like that?

But didn’t Tweek say that he liked someone? Someone that Craig didn’t know is what he said. Jesus fucking Christ, how many people does his twitchy best friend have competing for his affections?! It’s hopeless, all hopeless. Craig could never compete, even if he could find the balls to tell him how he felt. This is why he should just give up. But how can he stop his heart from squeezing painfully at the thought of Tweek with someone else? Giving up means accepting that one day, maybe soon, Tweek is going to have a partner and that partner is going to kiss him and hold him and call him all the pet names that Craig desperately wants to call him and maybe one day, this partner will propose and then Tweek will say yes and then maybe he’d ask Craig to be his best man and he will have to stand at the altar and watch as the only boy he’s ever loved promises to love another for the rest of his life and-

Craig’s whole body jolts up into standing. It’s like an invisible force grabs on to the ends of those rib laces and yanks them upwards, so tightly that his lungs explode from the pressure. 

He can’t breathe. HOLY SHIT, HE CAN’T BREATHE. He doubles over, desperately trying to suck air into his lungs.

_ What the fuck is happening to me. _

Toke and Clyde turned at the commotion behind him. Clyde can’t help but stare dumbfounded at his normally composed best friend, while Token, ever the man of action, jumps up onto his feet and is immediately at Craig’s side, rubbing circles in to his back and trying to gauge what happened.

“Craig, what’s going?” Token asks frantically.

“Can’t breathe!” a choked gasp escaped Craigs lips, eyes squeezed shut, body bent in half. He’s convinced that he’s dying. This feeling is not normal. Craig registers that he’s hyperventilating and, if he doesn’t stop soon, he’s going to pass out. His vision is already starting to get spotty at the edge.s

“Okay,” Token’s calm voice cuts through the whooshing in Craig’s ears. “I think you’re having a panic attack. I want you to try the same breathing technique that Tweek does, okay bud?” Craig knows the technique well, having to talk Tweek through it himself a number of times.

“I can’t,” Craig gasps, “Chest... too tight!” 

“Yes, you can. Focus on my voice, okay? Breathe in for four, 1… 2… 3… 4… hold for four, 1… 2… 3… 4… and out for four, 1… 2… 3… 4… That’s good, and again.”

Crag focuses on Token’s voice, sucking in great lungfuls of air like he’s a drowning man that’s just broken the water’s surface. Vaguely, at some point, in the back of his mind he notices that the hands rubbing his back change to much larger and warmer hands than before. Clyde’s voice is awkwardly churning out some “you’re okay dude” and “just breathe” statements.

After a minute or two, he starts to feel the vice around his rib cage release an inch and he can finally start to breathe a little deeper. His inhales are shaky, but they’re not shallow or frantic anymore. Craig slowly feels the panic start to retreat. 

Craig collapses back onto the couch boneless, breathing in long, purposeful breaths. He sees Token on his phone in the corner but he’s too far away to make out what he’s saying or who he’s speaking to. He leans his head on the back of the couch and closes his eyes unable to keep them open any longer, body exhausted. As he slowly comes back into his body, he realises that he lost his blue chullo somewhere in the process but he’s glad for it when he realises that there's sweat beading his forehead and making his hair stick.

“Craig?”

Craig’s eyes shoot open and take in Token standing before him, holding out a bottle of cold water. He must have slipped out of the room to the kitchen while Craig was ruminating on the couch. 

“Thanks.” He takes the bottle of water from Token and empties half of it in one big gulp. He hadn’t realised until just that moment how parched he was and how dry his mouth had become. Was that from the hyperventilating? Or something else? He would have to ask Tweek. Thats kids so smart and had so many panic attacks, he would know for sure.

“So…” Token starts. He shoots Clyde an uneasy expression, the same expression already mirrored back on the brunette’s chubby face. “Um…”

Craig absolutely hates it when people tip-toe around topics. He never does that. That’s probably (definitely) why people call him an asshole; because always so painfully blunt. He feels like saying  _ spit it out, man  _ to Token but he just can’t be bothered.

Actually, yes he can.

“Spit it out” Craig snaps out with a glare.

“Well, I was about to ask if you were okay dude, but I can see that you’re back to your usual cranky self already,” Clyde chuckles.

There’s a buzzing noise which turns out to be Tokens phone. He gets up, tapping out a message quickly as he leaves the basement. Craig can’t help but find it odd as he was sure he was about to get grilled by his friend.

The basement door closes with a thud, and suddenly Clyde’s pressed up against his side, face uncomfortably close to Craig’s. “Dude, what was that about?” he asks urgently, “I’ve never seen you have a panic attack before. Was that your first one? Or do you get them all the time but you’re just really good at hiding it? What caused it? I thought you were going to die man! Like-”

The brunette's voice is grating on him. He really doesn't have the energy to deal with this right now. “Clyde, for fucks sake, shut up” he snaps.

“I’m just trying to help, Craig!” Clyde whines.

“No you’re not, you’re bombarding me with questions and annoying the shit out of me when i'm exhausted so, for the love of god, will you please-”

The sound of the basement door opening and 2 sets of feet travelling down the stairs interrupts the verbal lashing that Craig was about to unleash on his friend.

“I still don’t get why you won’t just come on in. I told you the doors open.” Token says.

“Ngh, nah man, that's way too much pressure!” Craig recognised the second voice immediately, igniting a new flare of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. “What if it was a trap and a murderer stole your phone and was luring me to my death? At least if I text you, then I know you’ll come to get me.”

“Well, if a murderer stole my phone, then wouldn’t the murderer just meet you at the door?”

“... fuck, I didn’t think about that.”

Craig was watching the stairs as graffitied converse came into his view, followed by long, skinny legs in black denim jeans and a slender torso clad in a white V neck shirt and a dark blue flannelette shirt worn open over the top. Craig felt like he must practically have heart eyes when finally, a mop of curly blonde hair and big hazel eyes came into view. 

Normally, Craig would be ecstatic to see his best friend and object of his affections, but right now, he was feeling vulnerable and a bit shaken up. After all, it was his spiralling thoughts involving his best friend that sent him into such a tailspin in the first place.

“Craig, holy shit man. Are you okay?” Tweek came rushing across the room before squatting down in front of Craig. His perpetually cold hand landed on top of Craig’s, and for the first time since this whole ordeal began, Craig began to breathe a little easier. He could barely believe how much power his best friend had over him and how he felt.

“I’m alright.” He most definitely wasn’t. “What are you doing here?” Craig asked.

“Token contacted me. I was just around the corner at the shop when I got the call.” Craig's eyes must have shown his confusion, as Tweek clarified. “Kenny’s closing up for me today so that I could come here.”

At the reminder of Kenny, Craig’s gut clenched tightly again. He’s not sure if he should be happy that Tweek left Kenny at the shop to come to  _ HIM, _ or if he should be mad that Kenny got to play Tweek’s knight in shining armour, further cementing himself as a desirable candidate for the blonde’s next boyfriend.

“You didn’t have to do that. I’m fine…” Craig looked towards his knees. He was embarrassed that Tweek was seeing him like this. Normally he was the one restoring Tweek’s equilibrium after a panic attack, not the other way around. 

Tweek used his thumb to rub calming circles into the back of Craig’s own thumb, sending shivers down his spine. “I don’t mind. God knows how many times you’ve done the same for me.” Craig was painfully aware of Token and Clyde’s eyes on him, knowing that he was probably blushing like a schoolgirl. Their gazes made him feel like he was crawling out of his skin. 

This wasn’t him. Craig Tucker doesn’t have panic attacks, he doesn’t blush, and he definitely doesn’t need to be ogled at like him showing emotions for once has caused a rip in the time-space continuum. 

“Well,” Craig says, standing abruptly, “as fun as this was, I’m going home.”

He starts heading over towards the staircase when he remembers that Tweek left his shift early to come and help him. He can’t have his thanks be him leaving so soon after he arrived.

He half turns his head back towards his friends, brown eyes locking onto hazel ones. “Tweek, walk with me?”

Tweek gives him a slightly nervous smile, before standing up straight and following him out. “Sure. Thanks for calling me Token. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” 

“Okay, see you guys.” Token mouths  _ text me later _ to Tweek, which Tweek responds to with a nod. Craig can tell that they think they’re being subtle but they’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer.

“BYE CRAIG! BYE TWEEK” Clyde yells loudly before jumping sideways onto the couch and quickly gathering up one of the PS4 controllers. “Another round of Mortal Kombat, my beautiful chocolate friend?” 

“Only if you promise to never call me that again.” 

Craig and Tweek can hear Clyde’s muffled whining as the basement door closes behind them. They pass through the house and step out the front door into the cold. The wind stirring the hair on Craig’s head has him reaching to pull on his chullo strings, only to find nothing but empty air. He goes to turn back towards the doorway, when he sees a freckled, band aid-covered hand holding his hat out to him. Tweek’s face has a small teasing smirk on it.

“Thanks.” Craig pulls his trusty blue hat over his head, relishing in the familiar sensation. It feels like sinking into your bed after a long day. Comfort and relief.

“No worries,” Tweek says. They fall into step alongside each other, heading towards Craig's house. “Do you mind if I come over? I can’t go home yet, otherwise Mum and Dad will know that I skipped out on my shift.”

“Yeah, of course dude.” Craig steals a sideways glance at Tweek, who’s looking at his feet while kicking a rock along the ground. Craig is struck in the chest by just how much he likes Tweek’s face. It’s such a nice face. Craig wouldn’t mind a life spent getting to look at that face every morning and every night.

_ Jesus, when did he turn into such a sap? _

“Cool,” Tweek smiles, looking at Craig and jumping a little when he catches the noirette’s gaze on him. His eyebrows furrowed, a look of concern crossing his pretty face. “Do you want to talk about what happened back at Token’s?” 

Craig’s eye cast back towards the ground. Does he want to talk about it? Probably not. How is he supposed to explain to Tweek that watching Kenny flirt with him through Instagram sent him into a spiral which resulted in his first and only panic attack. He shakes his head slowly.

“Okay…” Tweek says, only the smallest trace of disappointment in his voice. Craig feels a twinge of guilt when he realises that Tweek probably just wanted the chance to return the favour that Craig has afforded him so many times before. When Tweek continues though, all disappointment is gone and his tone is playful and cheery. “Do you want to play video games and eat junk food until 2am?”

Craig smiles a rare wide-toothed grin at his best friend. Crushes and unrequited love aside, Tweek at the heart of it all is still his best friend. He knows him like the back of his slender, freckled hand and knows exactly what will make him feel better.

“Fuck yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! this story isn't dead!!!   
> I guess better late than never? maybe? probably not. I'm so sorry to keep everyone who is still following this story hanging for the last 4 months!   
> I would promise to be better next time but,,,, I know what I'm like hahaha.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this latest chapter and that it was worth the wait!

Tweek toes off his boots in the doorway as Craig closes the door with a thud.

“Craig, is that you?”

Craig’s mom appears out of the kitchen, drying her hands with a tea towel.

“Yeah mom.” Craig says without looking up as he kicks off his own sneakers.

“Oh, Tweek dear, it’s so good to see you!” she bustles over to the entryway and pulls Tweek into a tight hug. Tweek hugs her back, always relishing in the warm welcome that Craigs mother gives him whenever he comes around. Laura, in a lot of ways, has been there for him more and acted more like a mother than his own. Sure, his own mum cooked meals and kept the house clean, but she was more like a stereotypical Stepford Wife. She wasn’t attentive or loving or even very maternal. Laura was all of those things, even to Tweek who wasn’t her own blood.

“It’s good to see you too, Mrs Tucker.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Laura, Tweek. None of this formal  _ Mrs Tucker _ bullshit,” she teases as she pulls back from the hug. She keeps a firm hold of his arms, looking him up and down as if almost to check what has changed the last time she saw him. “Are you eating enough? You’re thin as a rake!”

“Mom!” Craig scolds.

She swivels towards Craig, giving her son the finger, which he returns. Tweek used to find The Tucker’s penchant for flipping eachother off a little strange, but now after 8 years of friendship, it seems almost normal. “Well I’m not wrong!” she turns back towards Tweek. “Would you like to stay for dinner, honey? I'm making chilli.”

“That would be great, Mrs T- Uh... I mean - Laura.” Tweek says awkwardly.

Craig grabs Tweek’s wrist and drags him towards and up the stairs. “We’re gonna go hang out in my room.”

“Okay, I’ll call you down when dinner’s ready,” Laura shouts after them as she heads back towards the kitchen.

“Sorry about her,” Craig whispers, looking sheepish at his mother’s actions.

“It’s fine. I mean, she’s not wrong.” Tweek says, smiling at his friend. Tweek has always been on the thinner side, but that's what happens when your diet is 80% black coffee. 

As Tweek and Craig reach the second floor landing, the door closest to the stairwell swings open and Tricia, Craig’s sister, steps out, head lowered as she taps away on her phone. “Where were you? Hanging out with your loser friends?” she quips at Craig without looking up.

Tweek gasps dramatically, hand slinging over where his heart is. “I am wounded!” Tweek grabs Craig’s shirt with both fists. “Did you hear that, Craig? Your sister thinks I'm a  _ loser _ .” Tweek fake sobs into his friend's chest.

Craig doesn’t know whether he should laugh at the dramatic display or play along. He does know that his heart is beating rapidly at the proximity of his friend, and how the scent of coconut shampoo fills his nostrils. For not the first time, he silently thanks his Abuela for buying him his chullo that is so effective at hiding his reddening ears. 

Tricia’s head shoots up at the unexpected voice. “Tweek?” a bright blush crosses her pale features. “I didn’t know you were here! You’re obviously not a loser! I mean, you… uh...” It’s alarming the rate in which Tricia’s face is turning red that Craig almost feels bad. The key word being  _ almost _ though. He’s happy to let her flounder for a bit longer. “I mean, you’re so cool! That’s why it’s so surprising that you hang around my brother and his loser friends.” 

Tweek lifts his head off of Craig’s sternum, grinning widely. “Did you hear that Craig? I’m far too cool to be hanging around the likes of you and the guys,” Tweek teases. 

Craig can’t help his lips quirking up at the jibe. “Yeah, yeah. Tell me something new.” Craig jostles his sister as he walks past to get to his room. “That was smooth, twerp.”

“Shut up!” she says, trying to stamp on Craig's foot, but he moves it away at the last second. She growls, before her eyes shift to Tweek again, and she smiles shyly. She turns on her heels and disappears back into her room, but not before she says “Bye, Tweek,'' in what she probably thinks is a seductive voice. 

Craig drags Tweek into his room, closing the door behind him. The moment Craig lets go of his wrist, Tweek makes a beeline for Stripe’s cage. “Sorry about her,” Craig says to the back of the blonde’s head as he leans over to peer into the cage. 

“Don’t be, it’s fine.” Tweek makes a clicking noise with his tongue and teeth, trying to find Stripe who’s burrowed somewhere under the hay in her cage. A little nose peaks out through the mess at the noise.

“Is it though? Her little crush on you is embarrassing,” Craig grumbles. He can't deny that his sister has good taste, but couldn’t she crush on someone else that isn’t his friend? And isn’t gay? And isn’t the object of Craig’s affection? Is that really too much to ask?

“She’ll get over it.” Tweek lifts the latch of the cage and scoops the chubby guinea pig into his cupped palm. She excitedly wheeks, recognising Tweek’s smell. Stripe has always liked Tweek more than anyone else. Even sometimes more than Craig. It was actually the way that Stripe seemed drawn to Tweek in the pet store that had convinced Craig to choose her. “Have you told her I’m gay?”

“No, but it’s not like you hide it.” Craig says, referencing the multiple pride pins that decorate Tweek’s backpack, and Tweek’s short lived romance with one of the goth kids back in 9th grade. Thinking about that time still makes Craig’s stomach clench painfully. Seeing Tweek be like that with someone else was the first time that Craig, in hindsight, could recognise that maybe there was more to his feelings for his blonde friend; feelings that aren't strictly platonic like he had believed for so long. He had been wracked with relief, guilt and confusion when Tweek had told the group that they had broken up. The overwhelming sense of relief at the newshad been short lived, as he quickly felt guilty for being happy about his best friend’s break up, and confusion as to why he felt that way at all in the first place. Thankfully, Tweek hadn’t seemed too broken up over it all, and had told them that they were still going to be friends, but that they were too different to continue being involved romantically. 

“I guess that’s true, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t know,” Tweek says, carrying Stripe gently over to Craig's bed where he sat cross legged before placing her gently in his lap. Normally when Craig does this, Stripe immediately starts to climb up and over his legs to go explore, but when Tweek does it, she settles on his thigh and sits there placidly, nose twitching. 

Craig collapses on the bed beside Tweek, jostling the other male with the impact on the mattress and making Stripe squeak irately. “Careful Craig!” Tweek says, scooping the guinea pig up to his chest and settling her with small strokes across her fur. She purrs contentedly.

“Sorry.” He grumbles in reply. He connects his phone to his bluetooth speaker and scrolls through spotify trying to find something to play. He ends up settling on some random person’s recommendations playlist that was in his suggestions. An indie ballad starts playing through the speakers. “So how was work today?”

Tweek stops cooing at the small pig still nestled against his sternum to shoot Craig a look. “Is that really what you want to talk about?” Craigs nods, desperate to know if anything happened with Kenny that wasn’t captured on Instagram. Tweek rolls his eyes at Craig's obvious avoidance, but decides to indulge him anyway. “It was fine. Pretty quiet, but Kenny was on shift as well so I wasn’t bored.” Tweek smirks, thinking about the events earlier that day. Kenny had been posting on Instagram for almost the entirety of their shift, and when Tweek had finally asked him what he was doing, Kenny stated that the videos were going to make Craig jealous and prove to Tweek that his friend did have feelings for him. Tweek had thought it was ludicrous, and when he got the call from Token asking him to come to his house as Craig was in some sort of panic, Tweek had felt wracked with guilt. The idea that Craig was going through something genuinely distressing, while Tweek has been involved in Kenny’s ploy to try and make him jealous, all while he was oblivious to the struggle that Craig was already going through, made Tweek feel sick. Tweek had told Kenny to delete the videos, but he isn’t sure if he has done it. He’s not even sure if Craig has seen them yet. It seems unlikely that he would have as he had been hanging out with Token and Clyde. Tweek’s at least grateful for that fact. 

Criag grumbled something that Tweek couldn’t quite catch. “What?”

Craig looks up at Tweek from his horizontal position across the bed. “Uh… I said do you want to share that joint now?”

“But your mom’s home? Won’t you get caught?”

Craig heaves himself upright with a grunt so that he can fetch the tin with his weed and rolly papers out of his desk’s bottom draw. “Nah, she won’t know, and even if she did find out, she wouldn’t care. She’d rather me do it here where she can keep an eye on me than somewhere else.” Craig settles back on the bed, cross legged next to his friend. He pulls his grinder, papers and weed out of the tin and then closes the lid, intending to use the flat surface to help him roll the joint. 

Tweek chews on his lip nervously. If Craig isn’t fazed, then it shouldn’t bother Tweek either but he can’t help but feel anxious at the idea of upsetting Laura. Or worse, Thomas… “What about your dad? Won’t he be home soon?” 

“Nah, it’s Friday night. He’ll be at Skeeter’s until they close,” Craig says bitterly. 

Tweek picks Stripe up and takes her back to her cage, placing her gently inside. When he turns back around, Craig is licking the seam of the joint, the view making Tweek’s fingertips tingle. He has to think too hard about how to walk as he crosses the room and throws the window above the nook open, the cool night air a welcome friend to his burning face. Tweek had always loved Craig’s room specifically for this cushion bench underneath the window. Tweek had spent countless hours on this bench, opposite Craig, either listening intently as his friend pointed out the different constellations, or just sitting in silence and enjoying the ease of the other’s company. It was also where they would sit and share a joint when the occasion called for it.

Craig settled on the opposite side of the bench, as he always did, cupping one hand around the lighter as he lit up the joint sandwiched between his lips. He took a long inhale, exhaling the purplish plume of smoke. “Here,” he said softly, passing it over to Tweek once lit. Tweek placed the joint between his lips, noting how the end was slightly damp, and inhaled deeply. The smoke burnt his lungs, making him cough. 

“Shit, that’s strong.” Tweek croaked out, passing the joint back to Craig who nodded in agreement. Only a few minutes had passed when Tweek started to feel that delightful floaty feeling. A lazy grin passed his face as he looked at his friend. 

Craig chuckled at him as he stamped the roach out on the window sill and flicked the butt down into the hedges below. “Dude, you look high as fuck.”

“I feel high as fuck,” Tweek laughed. Both teenagers dissolved into giggles. Tweek stopped suddenly when he remembered something. “Oh fuck, maybe we should have waited until after dinner?”

“Oh shit… yeah, probably.” Craig looked at Tweek who stared back at him with red and bleary eyes. They both suddenly burst into laughter again at their own stupidity. “My mom’s going to know for sure,” Craig gasped out between giggles.

“Dinner’s ready!” came a call from the bottom of the stairs.

Craig and Tweek both took deep breaths to try and calm themselves, before moving towards the door. Craig sprays them both with body spray before leaving the room, as if that won’t be more obvious than any lingering smell of marijuana. “Ready to act normal for the next half an hour?” Craig asks.

“No.”

“Great, let’s go!” Craig hollers as he drags Tweek out the room and down the stairs. 

***

Tweek and Craig barely made it through dinner. They had been stifling giggles when Tricia loudly asked Craig “What is wrong with you?” looking horrified at her normally stoic brother showing any sort of joy, especially at the family dinner table. Craig has flipped her off which had started another fit of laughter from the two boys.

“God, what am I going to do with the two of you?”. Laura had shook her head at the teenagers, but it was obvious that she was trying not to smile at the display. 

“Are we in trouble?” Tweek had asked, voice soft and sad.

Laura has hummed before responding. “No… that would make me a hypocrite because I was doing much of the same at your age, and I’d rather you be here where I can keep an eye on you then somewhere else…” She said, echoing Craig’s statement from earlier that night. “Just maybe not before dinner next time boys, okay?”

Both boys nodded vivaciously.

“What is going on?” Tricia asked her mum, clearly puzzled by the whole situation..

“I'll tell you when you’re older, sweetie.” Laura had said, patting Tricia on the head before sitting down to eat her chili.

Now, as the clock closes in on 10pm, the two boys are sprawled out across Craig’s bed, laughing incessantly at the _Jay and Silent Bob_ _Reboot_ film. They lay on their stomachs, facing the TV perched on top Craig’s chest of drawers. Their feet swing back and forth, occasionally bumping into each other. They had shared another joint after dinner, the effects of which were still being felt.

Tweek rests his chin on his hand, and looks at Craig to the left of him. 

Craig has always been an immovable force, like a mountain. He was so impassive and unfazed all the time, rarely getting bothered by anything. He never got stressed or panicked. 

Or so it seemed. Tweek had never seen Craig the way he was earlier today; in the after effects of what was described by Token to be a pretty nasty panic attack. It unsettled Tweek to know that his best friend, who himself had talked Tweek through many panic attacks, could be suffering as well, and that Tweek would have no idea. He wonders how much of Craig’s aloof persona is an ingrained part of who he was, and how much is a mask to disguise the tumultuous waters that lay just beneath the surface.

Craig turns his head towards Tweek and catches him staring. “What?” he asks, an easy grin spreading across his handsome face. What Tweek wouldn’t give to be able to close the distance between them and feel those smiling lips against his home. 

But he wasn’t quite high enough to forget who he was and just throw caution to the wind.

“Are you going to tell me what happened today? Or are we just going to pretend it never happened?” Tweek poses the question, staring intently at his friend.

“Um… the second option.” 

Tweek huffs. “No, Craig! That’s not the right answer!”

“Why can’t it be?” Craig asks, burying his head in his crossed arms. 

“Because, that option isn’t  _ healthy, _ ” Tweek says, taking a page out of his therapist’s book. “And, it’s just going to make me worry about you.” Craig stays silent, so Tweek keeps trying to plead with him. “Come on Craig, how many panic attacks have you helped me with? If there was anyone to talk to about this, it would be me!”

“Hmmph hm mph.” 

“What was that?” Tweek didn’t catch a word that Craig said.

Craig groans, lifting up his head and settling on his side, blue gaze locking onto hazel. “I said, it wasn’t a panic attack.”

Tweek rolls his eyes at his stubborn friend. “What would you call it then? Because by the sounds of what Token said, it was a pretty stock standard panic attack, dude.”

“I dunno… maybe I was possessed?”

Tweek laughs. “By who?! Me?! What kind of shitty demon would possess you just to fall into a panic?!” This sets Craig off, who bursts into giggles, who in turn sets Tweek off.

“Worst. Ghost. Ever” Craig says between peels of laughter. 

“Just for that, I’m definitely going to come haunt your ass when I'm dead!”

“No! Not my ass!” Craig gasps faux-dramatically. The fact that he can’t stop laughing to say it makes it all that much funnier.

“Shut up Craig! You don’t think I see what you’re doing? You’re deflecting so you don’t have to talk about it!” 

Craig groans and again buries his head in the cavern of his arms. Tweek rests his head on Craig’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him and awkwardly side-hugging his friend. “I just care about you, Craig, and I want to fix whatever’s hurting you now.”

Craig lifts his head up, causing Tweek to pull back. “Do you really mean that?” Craig asks, blue eyes searching Tweek’s face.

“Of course,” Tweek sputters. 

Craig continues to search Tweek’s face, the gaze making the blonde’s heart beat an unsteady rhythm in his tightening chest. Tweek becomes all too aware that their faces are only inches from each other, and when Craig’s gaze finally settles on Tweek’s lips, something ignites in his belly. 

A knock on the door startles the two boys, having them shift apart suddenly. “Turn down the TV now boys, it’s getting late,” Laura’s voice calls from the other side.

Tweek drags his gaze away from the closed door and back to Craig, who is now looking intently down at the bed spread. 

“Uh..” Tweek starts, unsure what to say.

“We should go to bed,” Craid says, jumping off the bed and turning the TV off. 

“...Okay.” Tweek says, completely baffled by the sudden change in his friend’s demeanor.

An hour later, Tweek is still wide awake and staring at the popcorn ceiling of Craig’s bedroom. Craig is snoring lightly beside him, and has been for the last 50 minutes, obviously not experiencing any of the same troubles that Tweek is with overthinking about what the hell that was earlier.

_ Did we nearly kiss?  _

_ Surely not…  _

_ Unless? _

_ Is Kenny right and Craig really does like me? _

_ But that is insane. Craig hasn’t shown an iota of interest in me for the last 8 years, other than that one night a few months ago. _

_ Thinking of it, we were high that night also, so maybe it’s just the weed? _

_ But weed doesn’t really do THAT. Like, make you attracted to people that you normally aren’t. _

_ Should I bring it up in the morning? _

_ Will it make things awkward? _

_ What if I misinterpreted the whole situation? What if I just had something on my lip? _

_ Oh GOD, this is too much PRESSURE. _

Tweek’s thoughts go around and around in his head until he finally passes out sometime around 3:00am. Unluckily for him, his phone alarm goes off at 5:30am to wake him up for a Saturday morning shift at Tweek Bro’s.

The thoughts of the previous night come flooding back to him, giving him no reprieve from the anxious turmoil in his own head. 

He slowly gets out of bed, making sure not to disturb Craig. He gathers up his backpack and his clothes from yesterday and sneaks out to the bathroom to get changed and brush his teeth, before sneaking down the stairs and out the door.

By the time Tweek is halfway to work, he’s decided that he is going to talk to Craig about it.

Or is he? 

Maybe not... it could make things awkward if Tweek had just read the room wrong.

Tweek stops walking, groaning loudly and burying his face in his hands. 

_ Why does everything have to be so HARD? _

_ Hopefully Kenny is at work today. Maybe he can make sense of it all. _

  
  



End file.
